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THE VA.IIIETY STA,G-E. 



THE LONELY POLLYWOG 



OF THE MILL-POND. 



A SANGUINAKY DEAMA 



IN THREE SCENES. 



Bt M. T. head, Esq. 




/Tj^KBV OF GOiVy^^^. 

NEW YORK; 

HAPPY HOURS COMPANY, 

Ko. 1 CHAMBERS STREET. 






THE LOI^ELY POLLYWOG 

OF THE MILL-POND. 



-:o:- 



DBAMATIS PERSONiE. 

Tadpole Wkigqle. (J' he Lonely Pollyioog ; in love iclth Doba 

MusHEAT). ; 
Sanouinetto Stab-in-the-dabk. (A Ruffian— his rival.) 
Great-Scamp, fills friend and pitcher. ) 
Dora IiIushead. ( The cause of all the troiible. ) 



COSTUMES. 

Tadpole Wriggle. ) 

Sanguinetto Stab-in-the-dark. [ Burlesque Spanish Cavalier dress. 

Great-Scamp. ) 

Dora IMushead.— White muslin dress. 



PROPERTIES. 

Handkerchief. Swords for Pollywog, Sanguinetto, and Great-Scamp. Dum-^ 
my made up to represent DoRA Mushead. Red fire. 



Entered according to act of Congress in the year 1875, by Happy Hours Company, 
in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. 

*if* There is no charge for the performance of this sketch. 



THE LOIS'ELY POLLYWOG 

OF THE MILL-POND. 



Scene I. — A Mill-pond by moonlight ; iht pond dried up and the mill 
partly carried aicay. The moon rising behind a very dark doud. 
Thunder and lightning. 

Enter Sanguinetto, k, 

San, Ha, ha, ha ! Methinks the moon behind yon murky cloud 
withhokls her light— withholds her light? Ha! ha! Why then, 
methinks, she something has to hold it with. Would she would let 
it drop, that it might grow so dark that we might say, you cannot see 
your hand before your face. I've got a deed to do, no eye must see. 
The hour of my revenge has come, and will be here anon. The 
Lonely Pollywog too long has thrown his shadow 'cross my path, and 
be must be disposed of. The lovely Dora Mushead must be mine. 
(Crosses to 1j.c.) Ha ! who comes here? (Draws his sword. 

Enter Great-Scamp, k. 

G. S. 'Tis be— your fred and bitcher. 

San. My fred ! Alas ! I have no fred — and as for bitcher, such 
word know I not. 

0. S. I said not fred and bitcher, but j'our fred and bitcher. 

San. Well, I know you did. Away ! I know you not, 

G. S. Dot do me ? Bud you bust. I'm Gread-Scab. 

San, ( With a start. ) Ha ! art he ? How changed thou art ; me- 
thiiiks thy speech is changed. Ha ! I see how 'tis ; my worthy friend 
has Avaudered in the noisome damps of this dark, dingy, direful, 
dirty, desperate spot, till— till he has caught a cold 'i the head. Is't 
not so, my Great-Scamp ? Here, use my wipe. 

(Gbeat-Scamp blows his nose. Sanguinetto weeps. 

San. You see me moved, my friend. I'll tell j'ou why. That 
trumpet tone of thine, which sounded when you blew your nose, like 
U^ the challeuge which some herald blows ere conquering knights 
rush to the tournament, reminded me of her— mv mother. 
, (?. S. Thy bother? 



4 THE LONELT POIiLYWOCi 

San. No, not my bother, but my mother, I had one once. Alas ! 
she died one day from something which she used to drink from out 
a large black bottle. But to my tale. One day my sainted mother 
and myself were wauderiug baud iu hand — 'tsvas somewhere near 
this very spot. The air Avas damp and chill, and noisome exhala- 
tions rose irom out the earth, and greeted the olfactories most puu- 
gentl)'. Noting this fact, my sainted mother, turning to her boy, 
asked in a melting accent what it was that smelt so ; 'twas quite too 
much, she said, for her ])oor uerves to bear ; Avhat can it be ? the 
smell o'erpowered her. The smell, I said, dear mother, yes, I know 
what tis, I cried, while fear of spanking filled my eye, and made my 
bosom swell — it is, I cried, the sad remains of our old tabby cat ; she 
angered me, and so I slew her, as I slay all my enemies, and as I'll 
slay the Polly wog. My mother wept, but spanked me not ; howbeit, 
ere niglit herself got slewed on juice of juniper. (T^itk a sudden 
start.) Methinks I see her now, my Great-Scamp. 

G. S. Where, my fred ? 

Scm. Alas ! 'tis all my eye. ( Weeps. 

G. S. No bore, no bore, it is doo bntcb, 

( Weeps hysterically on Sajjguinetto's shoulder'. 

San. But come ! away with Aveakness ! (PusJies Great-Scamp 
aicay with such force as to knock Jam down.) Hast seen the Lonely 
Polly wog ? 

G. S. (Picks himself up and strikes an attitude. ) I hast ! As now 
I wandered by his disbal ded, the bull-frog hooted, and the night- 
owl screeched ; while he, high on a rail, low perched upon the 
ground, sat driking lager beer. 

San. Ha ! sayest thou so ? This night he takes his bier indeed. 
Let me but meet him once in combat fell, down to the darkiug 
shades that brightly gleam on high I'll send him ! Out, my good 
sword, and ne'er slialt thou be sheathed till in his heart, ay, in his 
very gizzard, deep thy point lies buried. Come on, my Great-Scamp, 
What ho, there, PoUywog, 'tis I, thy foe ! This night or thou or I 
must bite the dust ! (Exeunt l. 

Scene 11. — The Ilut o/Polltwog. 

PoLLTWOG discovered asleep upon a soft Plank c. 

Pol. (In his sleep.) Off, off, ye goblin fiends ! let go your grip 
upon my abdomen. ( Comes down to the footlights. ) Ha, do I dreain ? 
methonght the spirits of my last night's supper came thronging 
round me, crying out for vengeance. Chickens boiled and fricas- 
seed, ay, roasted too, opened their mouths and cackled at me threat- 
euiuglj'. A round of cold corned beef sat on my chest, like to a 
weight of lead, and huge cowcumbers reared their mammoth forms 
above my head and seemed like giant clubs impending o'er my 



OF THE MILL-POND. 5 

brains, to dash them out. And then methought a xvind arose, and I 
was suddenly a keg of lager bier, tossed on Monongahela's treacherous 
waves, running dread risks of snags and riffles, till my bang came 
out, and I awoke to find, alas ! that in my dream I'd kicked the corn 
cob from my whiskey jug, and with the pleasant distillation damped 
my virgin sheets. Alas, the day .' But I must forth. The coon is 
on the march in search of pokeberries, and the opossum curls up 
himself and munches the persimmons. I'll seek my Dora Mushead. 

(Exit L. 

Scene III. — A gloomy glen, with trees growing out of tht hare rocks, 
or rocks growing out of bare trees, just as is most convenient to the 
scenic artist. 

A scream is heard, and Dora. Mushead rushes on e., her hair dishev- 
eled. She stares madly around. 

D. M. Ah, let me go — the moon is round and fair, and by her 
light I'll wander forth to seek my Polly wog. Ha! where am I? all 
alone in the dark wood. Oh, heavens support me — I'm a helpless 
maid. If Sanguinetto now should be abroad, and meet me in this 
gloomy glen, I'd be past hope. 

Enter Sanguinetto and Great-Scamp, stealthily, l. 

D. M. Let me haste home for I must milk the cows. 

( Turns and sees Sanguinetto and Gb.^a.tScjlm:p— shrieks and 
falls fainting to the earth. 

San. "Ha ! ha ! ha ! 

G. S. Ha ! ha ! ha ! 

San. At last my Dora Mushead, you are mine. (Runs to her and 
picks her up.) Yes, mine, I clasp thee in my arms, and never 
shall thou from these arms depart ; no, never ! never ! never ! 
NEVER MORE! ( Crosses ioB. 

G. S. Dever bore. 

San. Come ! quick ! away ! 

As he is making off xcith Dora Mushead in his arms, Polltwog 
enters l. and intercepts them. 

San. Ha ! 'tis iie ! 

Pol Ha ! 'tis she ! 

G. S. Ha ! 'tis hib. 

Pol. (Maliciously. J Villain ! 

G. S. (Sarcastically.) Boy! 

Pol. Ha ! calls't ttiou me boj'— Fll show thee I'm a man. Let go 
that beateous maid, whose pure and taper waist thy arm pollutes, 
and if thou art not coward, as thou art a knave, seize on thy sword 
and guard thyself ; thy time has oome. 



6 THE LONELX POLLXWOG. 

G. 8. Ha ! hft ! ihink'st thou to frighten me with these big words? 

I pray thee go to grass— or if thou likest not that, then go to him 

thou call'st thy master, and toast thyself before his sulphurous fire. 

Out of my way ! ( Tries to nin of. 

JPcl. Thou dost not stir— unhand the maiden. 

(VoijIjYWoq attempts to seize Dora ; Sanguinetto retreats to 
S.E.L., and exits voith Doba, PoLLYWOG/oWoioin;/. They im- 
mediately re-enter with Dummy, Polltwog holding by the feet, 
while Sanguinetto grasps Dummy around the waist A des- 
perate struggle ensues, in the course of ichich the Dummy is 
pulled in two. 
Pol. Ha ! what hast thou done ? Now, villan, di-aw thy sword. 
San. (Draws. ) Come on, the whole or none. I'll ne'er content- 
ed be with half a maid. 
Pol, Ay, that's the word— a maid entire, or none at all. 

(Terrific combat. Sanguinetto is slain. Great-Scajip con- 
tinues the combat, and is at length run through the body, and 
drops for dead. Polltwog casts himself prostrate -upon the 
upper half of Doba Mushead, and stabs himself with his 
sword. Great-Scamp 96(5 up, surveys the field, and crawls to 
Sanguinetto, heaves a deep sigh, and falls heavily on Sangui- 
netto, and after two or thyee convulsive starts, expires. Bed 
fire. Slow vmsic, 



CuHTilN. 



Note.— The author (?) claims no rights which stage managers are 
bound to respect 4 they are at perfect liberty to set this piece as best 
suits them, an d to cut one or all of the characters out, as they may 
deem best. In short, the aforesaid, being rather liberal than other- 
wise, will forgive anything but the mutilation of his title— that, being 
the most original part of the whole, he would like to hand down to 
posterity, in all its entiret", 

The Public's ob't Serv'fc, 

M. T. Head. 



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